Secrets and Thoughts
by rainicorn
Summary: Hateful parents and peers can tear even the strongest pair apart.
1. Prologue

The moonlight was just hitting the pair as Albus turned to Scorpius. The elder of the two growled contently, grabbing at Al and holding him in his arms. The younger boy loved moments like these, yet despised them at the same time. Tonight would be their last night together until the start of next term, and two months seemed like years for the lovers.

"Mmm. Albus." Scorpius moaned as he rubbed against Al's side. It was rare that the boy call him by his full name. He preferred to reserve for the moments post or prior to being intimate.

Al could hardly pay attention, however. His mind was on other things. He knew that he should live in the moment, had been told so by Scorpius a million times, but he could never bring himself to listen.

"Scor—" he was cut off by Scorpius' lips on his own, as the blonde swung a thin leg over his stomach. Albus wasn't in the mood now, though he had been quite willing only moments ago. He pushed at the older boy, gaining a confused look.

This just fueled Scorpius' determination. He was usually so bubbly, gentle with Albus most of the time, but he was completely different in bed. Not that he wasn't sweet – he never _intentionally_ hurt Al and he would _always_ whisper sweet nothing in his ear after they were finished. But when he was in the moment, he tended to get rough now and think later.

Now straddling Albus once more, Scorpius moved to his neck, being sure that he was leaving marks in all the places that showed most. "Gonna have…to….cover up…for sure." He murmured, biting at the sensitive skin after every other word.

"About that", he started, hoping to ease into the hard conversation that was long overdue. This time it was his own moan that cut him off as Scorpius' hand slipped into his boxers.

Getting sidetracked, he thrust up in time with Scorpius' hand, drawing closer to the edge by the second.

"Merlin, Scorpius" he sighed as he released, leaning up into the slytherin above him. Scorpius chuckled. "You look so cute when you cum". Smiling, he retracted his hand after just a few more strokes and took to looking down at his friend, staring. Albus squirmed under his gaze. He always was the more awkward of the two.

Seemingly satisfied with just a memory of the view, Scorpius finally rolled off, draping an arm over Al and snuggling his head into the crook of the boy's neck. " 'M Gonna miss you."

"Yes. .. about that." Al began again, biting his lip. "Hm?" Scorpius mused, raising his brow in half amusement –a trait that Al noted he got from his father. They'd never been properly introduced, but the boy knew quite a bit about the man. This only served to frighten him even more, making the breath catch in his throat as he decided to continue with the suggestion. It was now or never.

"I'm tired of this. Secrets. Lonely Holidays." He was never good at words, but he figured his point was coming across as Scorpius' face slowly turned into a scowl. He knew this was a bad idea, but he had to go on nonetheless. "I think…I mean, maybe it's time to come out? I want to tell my parents and I'd like it if you told yours, too."

This set something rare off in Scorpius; in an instant he was out of the bed and on his feet, staring daggers at Al. "Well, isn't that bloody brilliant! Tell mummy and daddy! Why don't we just go and scream it in the hallway now, too –that's sure to turn out well." His voice was dripping with poison, _reeked_ of sarcasm –this must have been the Malfoy temper that his father was always on about, but he always believed Scorpius to be well above the rumors and stereotype. Albus could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

"What? I'm not better than any common secret? A quick shag in-between your classes?"

Scorpius just stared, a vicious humored look plastered on his face. "Sorry not all of us have a saint as a father, Potter. I'm sorry we're not all blessed with the knowledge and amount of love as you."

"_Don't_." choked Albus, the tears now streaming down his face. " Don't talk to me as if I'm nothing more than my father's name."

"Don't sit here and talk as if I won't be as good as dead if we come out!" Scorpius was now on the verge of screaming. Albus knew this wouldn't be easy, but he never expected this. He opened his mouth to argue, but Scorpius just continued. "Your brother, your father…not to even mention _mine."_

The words hit Albus like a shower of ice. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, but they'd surely manage. Sure, his brother already bullied them(_especially Scorpius), _but they could get through it. They had each other. Or so Albus had hoped. With the realization that, perhaps, they really were nothing more than school friends fooling around, his sobs escalated to the point of a nervous breakdown, which only served to fuel Scorpius' fire. As if reading his mind, the boy began to speak with such venom that it wasn't like him at all. But it was laced with something else that Albus couldn't place.

"Don't act as if this was meant to be, because it wasn't. It's against everything that _should_ be and you know it."

_This_, this Albus _knows_ is a lie –a cover-up. It goes against everything the boy has every said to him. All the late nights spent talking about how he's going to choose his future and not his father, and how even his father, himself, encouraged him to do so. For the first time since the fight, Albus looked up and straight into Scorpius' eyes, causing them to soften slightly.

They looked crushed, _pleading_. When he spoke, his voice was still powerful, but with less of a bite. "You might have support, but I sure as hell have none."

When Scorpius broke eye contact, Al could tell that he was now fighting a losing battle. Maybe he had been for awhile and just hadn't realized.

"You have me" he whispered between tears, barely audible.

"Yeah, I thought I did." Muttered Scorpius bitterly, now inching toward the door. "Don't worry about telling anyone anything, because there's nothing to tell." And with that, he was out the door, leaving a very confused Albus to his tears. Maybe some secrets and thoughts were better off just as that.

(((So Yeah! I hope you like it. I've been shipping Scorpius/Albus so much lately. I actually have an idea to continue it, so if I get enough people saying they like it then perhaps I will. Sorry about any grammar or spelling mistakes. I have no beta and this goes up as soon as I transfer it from my notebook to my computer.))))


	2. Ch1: Back to the place where we began

Today was the day. Albus had been waiting years to get on this big red beauty that now stood before him –to go to the wondrous castle and eat with his house, his new family.

If he was honest, and he was fully aware of how horrible a thought it was, he was most excited for the distance that would soon separate him and the rest of his family. He loved them dearly –of that there was no doubt, and it wasn't them, really. That was the problem. It was _never them_ –it was just him.

From quite an early age, there were very clear differences between them. It was always two sides: what Albus liked and thought and what the rest of his family liked and thought.

That said, there _were_ a few similarities between him and his father, but he would never be as great as him. He would never amount to even half of the man that was once the boy who lived.

But now was not the time for depressing thoughts, so he scolded himself. Now was the time to board the train, as it was leaving.

The train had a busy feel to it. There were kids everywhere, pushy and as obnoxious as ever. He didn't like it.

After surveying the isle at least twice, he found that there were absolutely no available compartments. Several times, he contemplated finding his family and sitting with them, but he wouldn't sink that low. Finally he had a chance to branch out from the rest of his family –he wasn't about to take it for granted.

On the other hand, it was still pretty tempting. He must look awkward standing here alone, forcing others to walk around him .What was worse was that they couldn't simply keep walking. They always had to sneak a glance and an obvious one, at that.

He was just about to turn to find the Weasley lot when a mop of white blonde hair ran head first into him.

"M'sorry." The figure's voice was deep, but scratchy and premature. In just two words, Albus could tell that he had loads of personality.

While Albus was staring, dumbstruck, the boy quickly got to his feet, being sure to apologize and then setting off again. But just as he was passing, he stalled, talking so under his breath that Albus almost didn't catch it.

"It's rude to stare, you know?" His tone was suggestive and with that and a wink, he was off.

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><p><strong>(So yeah, CommentSuscribe. I'll continue posting as long as people are interested. I usually write these in class so sorry for any grammar mistakes. Also, sorry for this chapter being so slow. I have lots of ideas, though, and I figured if I'm going to make this a real story it has to be from the start.)**


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